Is this a normal feeling?

Hey, I'm a gay guy, 14 years old.What I'm talking about is whenever people seem to say the word 'gay' it feels like, I don't know, a degrading kind of word? I'm not sure how to put it, but it feels like such a strong word, and that maybe I should have gotten used to hearing myself say the word without being afraid of saying it before I had came out? I struggle to say the word gay, and when others say it, it gives me an unusual feeling of shock. Once again, sorry if my description of the word offended anyone , just couldn't think of the right word choice.Was or is anyone else like this? Have any tips?