My health

Its hard to explain, But this is how it goes. Ever since i was a kid i've always known i'm gay. Look... The point is that my health is getting worse... And i think its about me being gay. I haven't told my parents because my dad and brother are so homophobic.When i say 'bad health', in my opinion its bad. I've been very suicidal and depressed. The music i've been writing has been depressing and sad. Also i've been sick alot.I do go to CAMS but i'm just gonna say its not workingCan anyone please help me.. Is it because i'm scared of coming out? Maybe i need a relationship to help me?Thank you for reading! Means alot 🙌