How to know

I've been with my partner for over 3yrs now and everything is great and seems normal. But recently I've found out he has a completely other side to him, that he's hiding from me. In the past I've had my fare share a disagreements amongst his friends but never to the point where I thought they'd never want to even see me again. Considering most conflicts were under the influence of alcohol and everyone makes mistakes.In the last 6months I've been totally ignored and banned from any outings including them in return means my partner and I never can do much together. I even tried to reach out to these people and apologize not to mention I know social media wise they can see the positive change. I can't help but feel they will always hold this grudge toward myself even with me not being the same person I used to be.The other side I to my partner I speak of is this "hidden secret" of bashing my name along with my reputation. It's become very personal and I've tried brining it up but it's no use as I'm told I'm making things up. This really hurts me even more so as I feel these people whom hate me so much are a part of it. I'm being somewhat vague I know, but any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.