Normal gay thing or something else?

Is it normal to mainly relate to/identify with/admire female characters?I lived eighteen years comfortably as a gay male and never questioned anything. I started to develop my anxiety and OCD, though, around eighteen, and began to feel depressed.Once, a friend sent me this thing about how trans people love mermaids because they don't have genitalia. Ever since then I think I've had this fear surface that I am trans. NOT THAT ANYTHING IS WRONG WITH BEING TRANS. It's just that it freaks me out thinking I could be someone else or something. That I'm not me. Or that I'm going to be unhappy forever. Idk. I mean I've figured out that I'm literally not trans? Since I'm comfortable as a male and don't want to become a woman or anything and since I like having a penis... But the OCD (for those not familiar, OCD can really exaggerate fears and make them persistent and awful) sometimes gets to me if I see a girl in a cute outfit and it makes me scared that I'm jealous of her or something. I know it probably sounds really weird and insane for anyone who has no mental oddities?So my main question here, sorry for the explanatory rant, is if it's normal to relate to female characters, or if you guys do? I think that's something that fuels that fear. But I feel like it's probably not SUPER uncommon? I see a lot of guys on Tumblr with female characters as icons and stuff. For us guys with more feminine interests, style, or personalities, it's hard to find male characters to identify with. The gay guys in most media are pretty much either G.I. Joe level masculine or they're a fairy and that's not fair, since we're more dimensional than that. I wonder if there were more gay characters if I would relate to them more than the girls...?Or am I just weird?