I've started to feel like I'm not going to ever fit in or find gay guy friends who I really connect with. Does anyone have any similar experiences/advice?

Hi r/gay,I have spent a long few years feeling like I'm not really ever going to connect with other gay guys or the gay guy community. This is from both the perspective of finding friends and trying to date people. Even when I'm just looking for people to talk to, or people to be friends with, I feel like I just am not at all the type of person they are.Generally, a couple things stand out: I'm a pretty reserved, quiet guy. If you met me on the street you wouldn't think I'm gay or bi, but I am. In other words, I don't have a flamboyant personality. However, in the area that I'm in, regardless of how I try to meet people, they all fall under a lot of categories that just aren't ones that I think would make good friendships (for them or for me). Pretty much every time I meet a guy I feel like I am nothing like them, and it kind of puts me in this position where I feel more isolated from the community. One last thing, I don't drink, smoke, or party so that often distances me from other guys even more. :PSo, I guess my question would be, how should I go about looking for guys with similar interests, or who I might connect with more?