What's next for me

Hi Reddit,Throwaway because my username is quite obvious to anyone who knows me. I've been mulling over writing this out for a while but I've always just deleted before posting or put myself off. I'm in a bit of an internal pickle and could use some other people's brain boxes to bounce thoughts off. (I thought I could keep this light when I started writing but apparently not - Sorry!)Background: I'm an early-20s yo guy living around 30 minutes outside of North London. I grew up in the east of England until I moved in 2010 with my family. Mid 2011, I met my ex on holiday abroad. We hit it off really well, and within a month or two I was living with his family on the other side of London. Early 2012 we had the keys to our own place. At the time I was in a crappy retail job and he was doing well starting his career. Everything was going really well, and he pushed me to further my career. June 2013 I left my retail job and got an office job thanks to his support.I stayed in the position I was in for around a year and a half and then moved into an I.T role early 2015 on a slightly better salary, again thanks to his support and push. His career was also progressing and we were happy for the most part. I'd intermittently had a few issues where I would be very quiet at social events. I'm not good at making small talk or general conversation (I've always been more comfortable with messaging rather than a F2F) and we spent all of our time with nearby friends and family. We occasionally came to see my family and even went to the east a few times to see my old friends.I was a different person around my friends and family and it showed. He would always say I wasn't happy and that I missed my friends and family and to a degree he was right. I didn't keep in touch with older friends as much (my fault) and the new friends I had made were purely through work.Towards the end of 2015, I broke it off. I came to the decision that I wasn't happy. I wasn't unhappy, and I wasn't depressed, I just wasn't happy. A friend I confided in at the time put it to me that 'if you're doing something that doesn't make you happy, don't do it. ' so I ended it after thinking about it for weeks.Not being one for confrontation, and not wanting to give the opportunity to change my mind, I packed most of my stuff and just left. I feel awful about it now and it was a completely idiotic thing to do, but at the time in my head I was thinking that it had crossed my mind before and I'd just put it down to self-doubt; that arguments had happened where it had been bought up and I'd convinced myself otherwise. We have since discussed things face to face, and things are friendly.Since breaking it off, I took another career plunge with the same company and am in a respected position within the I.T department - somewhere I would not be without the support of my ex. I commute from north London to south London which takes around 2.5 hours door to door via public transport and I've amassed some debts from moving back to my parents and buying within s few months what would normally be amassed over a few years. I truly splurged.So, my question, Reddit, is this: how do I figure out my next step?I'm likely to be able to remain in my current position at work for quite some time and eventually pay off my debts, however the long journey will surely take its toll both physically and mentally. I have no time for a social life and any friends I did have before I moved away are no longer as close (as above - my fault for not keeping in touch). I'm starting to rebuild bridges but it's going to take a long time. I'm looking at a few years of this at least before I'm financially stable again.I could afford to move closer to work, except the debt would prevent me from doing this without really monitoring my spending down to the pennies and being extremely thrifty. My family aren't in a position to help me financially either.My job is quite specific to my company; I have no formal Qualifications (post-secondary school or otherwise) and I've reached where I am through pure understanding of the business and (without sounding like an ass) being generally clever and picking up new skills very easily.I was not named on the Mortgage for the property we lived in together and so if it is sold, I don't believe I'm legally entitled to any of the profits from the sale; however I genuinely believe he would make me aware of the sale and offer me a fair sum based on what we paid into and purchased for the property together.I'm not very big on what I consider negative emotions, and so I haven't discussed my situation in this much detail with anyone else; except my ex when I had a few drinks after work and broke down on him at his front door (regret that - but I'm not comfortable feeling vulnerable around anyone else). I keep having these moments alone in my room where I go over things in my head and eventually end up in tears as I lay out the mess I've made of my current situation. I know; I'm young, and I've got everything ahead of me, but right now it's really shitty and forcing a happy attitude becomes harder the longer it goes on.I've tried to meet new people, both for friendship and dates but I feel like all the guys around where I live come across as very immature, or just not as interested as I am. The older guys (+2-3 years) are just looking to hook up, or aren't interested in dating younger and the guys my own age are either just looking to hook up, or have 3-4 guys talking/dating them at once and aren't interested in a relationship which is all fine, but I don't think it's what I want.The thought that worries me the most is that I feel like I'm even less happy now, and I keep reflecting on what I could've done differently - how I could've changed. I feel so lonely in my spare time and don't know what else I can do to try and combat that.Maybe I've just taken a good opportunity to slightly vent what's been going round my head for weeks, or maybe someone can give me a really good insight into how I can move forward. Either way, thank you for your time in reading this.