ugh.

why is it so hard to talk to people? I used to be able to hold conversations and be so charming or what the hell ever and now I'm just an awkward mess it feels like. I'm only 22 years old and I have no idea how to talk to other guys my age or around my age. my recently ended relationship was with a 36 yr old and well... I forgot how to speak to people my age. if that makes any sense? . and it doesn't help that I'm really not very confident. and I feel like everyone around me lives a completely different life than I do wich I don't fit into. and I mean this in the best, judgeyless way possible.. but everyone around me is kinda like a pop culture worshiping, frilly, too tight clothes wearing, obnoxious, phoney zombies or super duper obnoxiously closeted married men... and I'm just some goofy dude who only likes rock music and video games and movies and from what I've gathered, I don't really fit into their culture and frankly they are pretty quick to push me aside. even my last bf wasn't the best for me.. obviously. I had to assimilate to him and he never tried to embrace any aspect of who I was and what I enjoyed. anyway what I'm getting at is I don't fit in with anyone around me and It's making me very lonely.