[humor] 2,049 words The Narrating Narrator

“It had been exactly six hours since Jack first heard the voice of the narrator, said the narrator just to piss the two off.” “Ok that’s it I am tired of this Charlie Kaufman metta bullshit” “Jack exclaimed wishing his boyfriend was in the room to comfort him through these dark times, with his penis, cause Jack was very gay.” “How many times do I have to tell you I’m not gay.” “Jack said trying to convince himself he didn’t dream of cornholing a man every night over and over again.” “jesus Christ what does cornholing even mean?” “Jack said stupidly not knowing that it was a commonly understood slang term and even without knowing the exact definition it would be easy to come up with a decent guess at what the word means just through context clues and the the reason he didn’t know the exact definition was because he was too busy performing the act of cornholling on his gay lovers cause he was gay.” “Ok first off your narrating is horrible you don’t have to say that person said every time a particular person says something that’s lazy writing and second off I don’t cornhole anyone especially not guys.” “Jack said lying through his cornholing teeth not knowing he sounded idiotic saying he especially didn’t cornhole guys which made no sense because you can’t especially not do something then he came to think about the negative actions that could come from insulting a omnipresent being.” “Are you threating me?” “Jack said with a giant cock in his mouth barley able to get the words out but when he finally did the narrator answered in the affirmative.” “How can you threaten me all you do is narrate what I say and make it look like I’m gay and honestly it’s just coming off offensive to the gay community if anyone were to here you say this they would probably just think you were weird and homophobic.” “Jack said being a big dumb stupid gay meanie face.” “You know what narrator person you suck you’re like a worse than a ending to a Stephan King novel but your even less original I’ve seen this before in that Will Ferrell movie no one remembers plus your homophobic which is never fun.” “Jack said not knowing these words would be the end of the story which is kind of ironic seeing that he just made fun of the Stephan King endings and now this is ending so abruptly and disappointingly which kind of gives the story more merit cause it pointed it out but is still kind of cheap said the narrator.”