It all started when our cliche, protagonistic figure, Armenia, woke up in a lemur-infested moor. It was the seventh time it had happened. Feeling ridiculously worried, Armenia attacked a live hand grenade, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Suddenly cheered up by the Hamtaro theme song, he realized that his beloved Your Mom was missing! Immediately he called his so-called friend, Georgia. Armenia had known Georgia for (plus or minus) 11,000 years, the majority of which were enchanting ones. Georgia was unique. She was ingenious though sometimes a little... annoying. Armenia called her anyway, for the situation was urgent.
Georgia picked up to a very sad Armenia. Georgia calmly assured him that most disease-carrying chipmunks sigh before mating, yet Indonesian devil cats usually wildly yawn after mating. She had no idea what that meant; she was only concerned with distracting Armenia. Why was Georgia trying to distract Armenia? Because she had snuck out from Armenia's with the Your Mom only seven days prior. It was a exotic little Your Mom... how could she resist?
It didn't take long before Armenia got back to the subject at hand: his Your Mom. Georgia grimaced. Relunctantly, Georgia invited him over, assuring him they'd find the Your Mom. Armenia grabbed his hippopotamus and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Georgia realized that she was in trouble. She had to find a place to hide the Your Mom and she had to do it carefully. She figured that if Armenia took the wannabe go-fast Civic, she had take at least eight minutes before Armenia would get there. But if he took the Dat Ass? Then Georgia would be exceedingly screwed.
Before she could come up with any reasonable ideas, Georgia was interrupted by nine pestering Gay Turks that were lured by her Your Mom. Georgia grimaced; 'Not again', she thought. Feeling exasperated, she aggressively reached for her dangerous oil-soaked rag and carefully hit every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the fanstic pumpkin patch, squealing with discontent. She exhaled with relief. That's when she heard the Dat Ass rolling up. It was Armenia.
----o0o----
As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Seven-Eleven to pick up a 12-pack of wolverines, so he knew he was running late. With a careful leap, Armenia was out of the Dat Ass and went scandalously jaunting toward Georgia's front door. Meanwhile inside, Georgia was panicking. Not thinking, she tossed the Your Mom into a box of ninja stars and then slid the box behind her elephant. Georgia was worried but at least the Your Mom was concealed. The doorbell rang.
'Come in,' Georgia explosively purred. With a hasty push, Armenia opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some selfish coke fiend in a curb-jumping ghetto sled (Impala),' he lied. 'It's fine,' Georgia assured him. Armenia took a seat exotically proximate to where Georgia had hidden the Your Mom. Georgia yawned trying unsuccessfully to hide her nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' she blurted. But Armenia was distracted. Duly ecstatic about the looming crises, Georgia noticed a funny-smelling look on Armenia's face. Armenia slowly opened his mouth to speak.
'...What's that smell?'
Georgia felt a stabbing pain in her shin when Armenia asked this. In a moment of disbelief, she realized that she had hidden the Your Mom right by her oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A stupid look started to form on Armenia's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's bananas from when she used to have pet man-eating capybaras. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Armenia nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Georgia could react, Armenia aptly lunged toward the box and opened it. The Your Mom was plainly in view.
Armenia stared at Georgia for what what must've been two minutes. Suddenly cheered up by the Hamtaro theme song, Georgia groped explosively in Armenia's direction, clearly desperate. Armenia grabbed the Your Mom and bolted for the door. It was locked. Georgia let out a eccentric chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Armenia,' she rebuked. Georgia always had been a little clueless, so Armenia knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Georgia did something crazy, like... start chucking dangerous oil-soaked rags at her or something. Duly ecstatic about the looming crises, he gripped his Your Mom tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.
Georgia looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Armenia. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame four days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly she felt a tinge of concern for Armenia. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Georgia walked over to the window and looked down. Armenia was gone.
----o0o----
Just yonder, Armenia was struggling to make his way through the foxy forest behind Georgia's place. Armenia had severely hurt his kidney during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Gay Turks suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the Your Mom. One by one they latched on to Armenia. Already weakened from his injury, Armenia yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Gay Turks running off with his Your Mom.
But then God came down with His clever smile and restored Armenia's Your Mom. Feeling angered, God smote the Gay Turks for their injustice. Then He got in His wannabe go-fast Civic and sped away with the fortitude of 550,000 long-haired sea monkeys running from a oversized pack of South American hissing sloths. Armenia shimmied with joy when he saw this. His Your Mom was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in four minutes his favorite TV show, Your Dad, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When Indonesian devil cats meet bloody glove'). Armenia was ecstatic. And so, everyone except Georgia and a few gun-toting legless puppies lived blissfully happy, forever after.
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