[SERIOUS] Gay dudes of reddit; is hyper effeminate speech or physical expression an affectation?

In my experience, ultra macho guys usually put on that affectation out of a need to be recognized as macho tough guys (maybe out of insecurity). Is it like that for gay guys, but so that it's easier to socialize with each other? I'm seriously asking here because I am curious about this but it's impossible to ask someone face-to-face without them taking it as some sort of personal attack.