I felt too lonely, so I hugged Tristan, my teddy bear, and wept

Today was the day my friend, whom I had spent time with almost 5 nights in a row together to do homework, left for her 3 week vacation, so she left her cat at my apartment. I had feared that the loneliness would take over and put me into another "phase" again while she's gone, because for a couple weeks she had to commute from her parents' place and yea, I really was lonely. That was also a time when my on-and-off (now ex)boyfriend cheated, so that was even worse. But I thought the cat would help so I agreed to cat-sit her cat. Cats, I don't think, though, aren't very understanding. Whenever I try to have a "moment" (the way I do with my dog back at home) he would escape and run away.

Then evening came. The heaviness that I had been feeling got heavier. Lonely, just too lonely. I didn't know what to do. Should I call my neighbors upstairs for some card games? But I have work to do. Maybe I should play a Pixar movie in the background so it'd feel like someone's with me. But I need a hug, a physical hug.

I just needed one. So I grabbed Tristan, my teddy bear whom I named after a gay guy that I had a crush on (I'm female), and hugged him, and wept for few minutes, thinking, "even if I die in this lonely room you'd still be with me." I think I feel better after crying. But I do wish Tristan was human and was my boyfriend; he's well dressed and is even holding a rose c: