What ifs

I have a huge decision to make. I recently started to think about how I haven't experienced life the way that I wanted to. I've been lazy, careless, and so afraid of making "the wrong decision" that I haven't made a decision at all.

I've just discovered that I'm entp and it's difficult to wrap my head around....but after reading a bit about it and scoping the forum out it makes a lot of sense. My doc also says that I have ptsd...so I'm an entp ptsd. Lots of letters.

Right now I live with my family and I'm completely stagnant in a small town with very few opportunities. I got fired on Friday after I flipped out during a shift waiting tables...I hate being a waiter, but its the only work I'm interested in here because it pays well.

But now it's time to leave here. I simply cannot stay. Its a very conservative town and I'm pretty gay and definitely not one of the good old boys.

I have two choices- a very good friend has offered me the chance to stay at his place in a smallish college town nearby- it's almost the sake size as this place but it's green(ish) and has a lake. Right now I'm in the desert. It's terrible.

This option is great because the friend I have has battled depression and is doing great....he knows about my struggles and he's exactly the support and motivation that I need to fix my finances and start rolling on a good career. I'd like to be an RN and then travel and possibly move into pharmaceutical sales or become an NP.

My other option is to just.....go somewhere else. The PNW possibly Seattle. I have a friend there (who I can't stay with).

In this scenario, I would live out of my vehicle. I'm really into reading about vandwelling and I've always dreamed about it. I understand that it isn't glamorous but I could work a shit job and still be able to pursue hobbies that I've always wanted to go after....in a big gay beautiful city. Things like stand up comedy and swing dancing and guitar and blah blah blah.

With option 1- I'll grow. I'll be happy to be with my friend and I'll hopefully get a not shit job that I can deal with. Option 2....I have no idea what would happen.

How do you guys cope with the what it's?