Well it took me 49 years but.

At almost 50 I finally decided to come out and be the true me. The true me is a gay male. When younger I tried but went back in. To much mental baggage. Religious doctrine that was given to me. Issues with being molested as a child into teens. Other factors but that was then and it is now. At 30 i married my best friend. We were married for 15 years. Shit sex life. Had sex less then 30 times. We got divorced for completely other, sad and fucked up reasons. Never cheated on her. Just drove my "sex feelings" away.Over the time since the divorce I started to think. For so long I kept trying to make sure others are happy. I had stoped doing things for me. I stop trying to make me happy. I know and have always known I was gay. I worried about what others may feel about. I took somthing that makes me, me. Somthing that does make me happy. I hid who I was to others. Well fuck that shit, not anymore. I am gay. I am out and not ever going to let my happiness be stoped by me or anyone, anymore. I will not hid over fear or shame or judgment. I do not fear. Hiding has more fear. Shame, I have no shame anymore. Why should I be ashamed of who I am. My God loves me. I think I love me. And people who judge. Fuck you. Chances are you more morally fucked then the ones you judge. 49 years long enough not being me. Me is gay and I think that I am happy. I accept who I am and am glad that I am, who I am.