I need to take a burden off me.

This is my first post on reddit, so I hope you can give me some advice. I'm European, from a country which is sorta open about the LGBT community, but not in the city I live in. My family is REALLY homophobic and I'm really scared to come out. I have a girlfriend from about a year and a half now. We had sex about 6 months ago and I liked it, so I guess I'm bisexual. There's a problem though. She doesn't know, and honestly I'm not planning to tell her, that before I fell in love with her I had a thing for my best friend. Basically this guy was the closest person I had since the age of 13 and as I'm speaking now we're not talking anymore. I think one of the reasons behind the fact that he doesn't speak to me anymore is because I made things very awkward. We have always been really close. We were together almost every day and every time I was with him everything that made me unhappy just disappeared. It was a dark period for me, just was so sad for other matters and he was really a saving grace as a friend. Sometimes he touched my dick from the trousers as a joke, because he said that the secret to be always happy is to "empty your balls". Obviously I laughed and never took that phrase and that behaviour seriously. But as he started to do this thing more often, I misunderstood what he was doing. I thought that he was into me from a sexual side, so I started to wonder if it would be weird if we were together, and as I discovered that I liked the idea of being with him, I started to imagine to have sex with him, as I was starting to feel interested in him. So, one day I was at his home, and as he was dressing up for a birthday we were playing at PS4. At that point I couldn't hold the fact that I was into him anymore. So as he laid down onto his bed, while waiting for the lobby to load, I touched his dick. He initially took it as a joke and started make fake orgasms as he always did. But then I did something that maybe I shouldn't have done or at least not like this. I asked him "Can I take your pants off?" And his answer was "If it is what you want, do it." Then I started to blow his dick, and I really, really liked. After less than two minuts he stopped me and said that he couldn't do it and that he was so surprised. Then as I was clearly nervous for what I had done, I started to say stupid things like "Tell me if you change your mind" and other things like this. Then as things got even more awkward, he started to avoid me and then we stopped talking two months later. What do you think guys? What I did two years ago was completely wrong? Right now I'm am in a similar situation with on of my friends, but I would never cheat on my gf. No one knows about this except me and this guy. (Sorry if my English isn't very good but I'm not from UK)