I am gay, and I have problems and I need advice

This will likely be a longish post, and I absolutely apologize for that. That being said, I'm struggling with a lot of issues and I really could use some guidance. Anything helps, regardless of if you want to respond to only one topic or if you just want to voice support.I am 20 years old, from a small town in a state at the heart of the Bible belt. You can't turn a corner without running into another church around here, its insane. I'm not out, I fear the results of coming out in such a town, the rumors, the insults, all of it.My mom doesn't frankly give a damn if you are gay or straight, she is really cool about that. That being said, she believes in god and the bible, but rejects organized religion. The same is true for my sister. My mom has a good friend who is gay. All of that being said, its an entirely different scenario when someone's own son comes out. I worry that she'll over-react, given that what she wanted for me in life will be ruined. I worry about that reaction.Also, my dad is a fairly bad homophobe. He got some watermelons or something from some gay customers of his, and he said he didn't want to pick them up because he thought they wanted to stare at his ass. (His words, not mine). I know he is a strong believer in tradition, and I fear his reactions if i come out.I currently live with my parents, and they are supporting me through college. I think the smart decision is to wait to come out until later, after school where i can stand on my own two feet, in case their reaction is negative. That being said, I want to live my damn life, date, have fun. I feel paranoid about anyone finding out.Also, I've met someone that I kinda like. The only issue is that I have second thoughts in my head. Like, I'll be talking to him and somewhere in my brain a voice says "You don't really like him". He's fun to chat with, we spend hours every night playing games together and watching shows. Part of me is also confused because like, he is much more flamboyant than me. its kinda odd, probably because I'm not exactly used to that kind of person. this all adds into my "you don't really like him" thoughts. I think i do like him, and I want to spend more time with him, I just worry about everything.Finally, living in a religious town, I feel like I've been raised to think that being gay is unnatural. While I know that that is false, I've read a lot of science regarding it. I know that I am attracted almost exclusively to men, but I worry whenever I try to get to know someone. Its like, part of me in the back of my head is screaming that I'll go to hell. Now, I try to be agnostic, I don't know anything about the existence of a god. but the chance that there could be one and that I could suffer for it is honestly extremely scary. I've never really had the chance to mess around or date or have fun here, not only because I'm not out, but because I struggle with that all the time. I feel like I can't reconcile how I was raised with my current life, and its extremely frustrating. Sometimes I just want to curl up and just cry.I want to just live a normal life for ONCE. I don't know what to do and its extremely tiresome. If ANYONE has advice, I'm more than happy to hear it and talk about it. I need anything.