Having a lot of relationship problems. On sex first...

I'm married to a handsome 32 year old gay bear for 5 months, we've known, cared for, and kinda wanted each other since 2011 but we never got serious till 2016. Our sex was good at the beginning. But some months after we got married, it started waning. Sometimes he won't want to have sex with me and just help me get off because he jerked off at work, and most of the time he says he's tired. Sometimes when I ask him to help me get off, he even rejects me. It makes me feel unattractive and think that he's starting to get bored of me.We also haven't had anal sex for almost 3 weeks now. He tried but he never came. I don't know how to deal with it, and whenever I try to talk to him about it, he just wants me to be thankful that he does other nonsexual things for me like helping with groceries and helping with the bills, rent, etc.I do appreciate all the things that he does for me. But when I feel like we've never had enough sex, when he rejects my ask for help in jerking off (not even sex), and when you find out that he jerks off at work and not be in the mood when he gets home, then i'll just end up being disappointed and just being someone who has to deal with it.This is rly bothering me, so any help will be welcome. Thanks!