Shit's hard

Sometimes I wish there were crossover subreddits (this time with r/gay and r/depression) and I dunno why I'm even doing this. Just everything is getting too much and I just really fucking need someone to talk to and I just need to be five years older. Free and being who I have to be. I don't expect people to care, I really wouldn't expect that from most of the world right now. But if someone is a real human being who lives and loves then please I need some help. xx