Pre-Conceived Notions

Hi Reddit.I think I am bi. I've only pursued ladies because it's been the most practical and socially innate approach to sexuality. I also find certain women extremely beautiful and can't disregard that. But I've always been an admirer of studly dudes, and usually rationalized it as bromance.Anyways. I'm just at a standstill with the logic of pursuing men. I don't mean to offend anyone, but I'm hoping that maybe you can relate to a certain degree with my sentiment.I find the butt disgusting. I can't fathom the inevitable stench or liquids that come with anal sex. Are there gay dudes that exclusively jerk each other off and make out. I feel like the prostate orgasm is one of the fundamental, biological attractions to man on man action. Therefore, I'm assuming that hypothetical isn't common in gay relationships :/. I have clinical OCD, and this is just one thing I can't get past! Even with the women I have loved, it took intense mediation to not get phased by how close my schlong was to her rectum. Even with myself, I find it soooooo gross lol.How do you find masculine gay dudes??? I'm guessing at the gym or through networking lol. That cliche feminine gay persona doesn't jive with me.Finally, what's the point of pursuing men? Women have a biologically designed entrance for my penis hahahaha. Men and women are the same shit in my book from a metaphysical perspective. Sure, dudes have their idiosyncrasies. But when it comes down to it, we are all human. Striving for validation, love, pleasure, etc. A slight differentiation in hormone levels and physiology doesn't mean shit in the big picture. Sooooooo, when literally millions of years of evolution point to the practicality of the vagina. What's the epistemological rationale behind getting down with men? Is it sustainable to be straight up with yourself about the attractiveness of other dudes, and not surpass platonic admiration?I hope you don't think I'm a douche or anything. I'm just spewing my mind and wanna see if you guys can relate