Older brother incest

Hello, need some advice. When I was a kid, I shared the room with my older brother (15 years older than me). He had a hot body, so when I was going through my puberty, i counldn´t help myself and would try to spy on him getting dressed or taking a shower and furiously masturbate after with the image. I believe maybe he knew I was trying to take a sight, because sometimes he would make it easier to me, like making a little show for me. I don´t know, maybe he knew I was spying on him, maybe not. One night when i was maybe 12 years old, he went out to drink, and came home really late, as he used to do on the weekends. When he was getting undressed, i pretended to sleep and open a little the eyelids to watch him (as I used to do). Then, surprisingly he came near to me and sat in my bed (naked except for the briefs). I pretended to sleep harder, he remained sitting there, in the dark. I was so excited and my heart was pounding. I mustered all the courage i had and put my hand on his inner thigh. He did nothing. Remained inmovile. I wanted so much to touch his cock, to get it out and suck it, but i got paralysed by fear and couldn´t make the move. A minute after, he stood up, went to his bed and went to sleep. Shortly after, he mover out, got married, had kids. Eventually I would do the same. My marriage fell apart because of my conflicts with my inner homosexuality, mainly. I divorced and went to live with our mom. Coincidentally, he got recently separated from his wife, and went to live with us maybe three weeks ago. He is in his forties now, but still in great shape. Mom have some ladies group to attend fridays night. Usually when i come home from work, he is in his room, looking at his laptop or whatever, and I sit on the couch at the living room to watch some television. The first friday night we were alone in the house, I was watching television, and he came out of his room in his undies, and sat next to me in the couch. We did a little chit chat, and he fell asleep (or pretended to). I did not think anything about it. The following days were normal, but the next friday he repeated the routine. Mom was out, he sat in the couch next to me in underwear, spread legs and fell asleep. I started to think maybe he wants me to blow him. Tonight maybe it will happen again. I really would like to suck his cock, but i´m scared to make things weird between us. What if nothing is happening and it´s just my imagination? what if he rebuffs me and get angry? what do i do? make a move? do nothing? please some advice