My Weird Straight Best Friend: A Gay Novel

Okay so he's not my best friend and this is not a novel, but we've known each other for years and I dated his female cousin in highschool and it could be a novel. Put your seatbelts on and get ready for some average homo drama.Long story, I've known him since high school. We are going to call him Alejandro (like Lady Gaga Alejandro). Alejandro was an upper class man (I'm class of 2011 he was 2009). We weren't super close but we were in the same class and he was pretty cool. He always hugged me. I thought nothing of it since I hug all my friends guy friends. I started dating his cousin, Sandra, who was one of the most beautiful Latina girls in school, and all of the straight guys were super jealous of me because they all thought I was exclusively gay. (Take that you homophobic a** holes.)We didn't begin to get close though until his girlfriend broke up with him last spring. His girlfriend (who we will call Dalilah as in Plain White T's) was a good friend of mine too and we were also close, so close that she confided things in me that her boyfriend didn't even know. Well after she graduate from the same university we were in about 2 years ago, I didn't see much of Dalila or Alejandro.Well, Alejandro and I then spontaneously linked up with each other via a Facebook message he wrote to me saying that he misses me. We went to dinner at a local Applebee's and we talked for hours! (We were there for 5 hours). I was dating this Asian guy named Ben at the time (who I was totally not that into him but I decided to give him a chance since he kept pestering me about going on a date with him btw) and I told him that I linked up with a friend the previous day and was at Applebees for 5 hours. Ben gets jealous but I was like "umm you're not my boyfriend sooo...Yeah." but I digress.Anywhore, Alejandro and i begin hanging out more and more and...well things went from good buddies to questionable bromance. We have mutual friends that we hang out with in groups. He would openly hug me from behind and hold my hand in front of our friends. Like okay, he can be a joker, but it was a little odd to me. Still, I'm an air head sometimes so I never notice anything quickly. We began sharing intimate details about our lives and we just got close. We went on a movie date and he picked me up. On the way there, he held my hand throughout the entire ride. We held hands at the movies and I leaned into him and hide under his arm everytime I got scared. He enjoyed it.This became a regular thing. He developed a habit of embracing for long periods of time and one time we got drunk and I started kissing him on his neck and on his cheek. He just let me, and he smiles, and laughs, then signals me to do it again. But he never let me kiss him on the mouth though. Never did we did anything sexual besides me neck kissing him. He never kissed me, just signaled that he wanted me to. Now I was never attracted to Alejandro on this level. I never been in a relationship before and I felt like we were in a relationship. Sometimes he would get jealous or crave my attention when we are around people, but I'm popular and easily distracted so people like to talk to me all at once. That's why he prefers to be one on one with me so I won't get distracted.Our friends assumed we were dating. I was never in a mutually committed relationship before so it was always a huge thing for my friends to obsess on finding out who I was dating. I barely pay attention to Alejandro when around other friends. Sometimes he takes me away in the middl of a conversation with someone and says "sorry ladies, my turn." This thing was going fast, and I mean rollercoaster fast. We had long hours talks, hand holding and kisses...But then he slowly began to put a stop to our frequent night escapes. And finally stopped completely when I took a two week vacation to Miami.I mean, I didn't know what this was, and I didn't look for something beyond what we had, but I in all honesty I liked it. I realized that what we had is something that I would like to have in a relationship. We acted like we were. He supported me and I supported him. He picked me up and took me on dates, even bring me around his friends, held my hand in public without a care in the world, and opened the doors for me and have my chair pulled out so I can sit. He was a gentleman. We danced at a regular club like a couple. Everyone thought we were together. We were in a relationship without the official title.But he stopped writing on Facebook and didn't write to me at all while I was on vacation. In all honesty, it bothered me. But I got over it by having a blast during my vacation. I mean, I know he's straight. He mentioned during one of our talks that he's not attracted to men at all and I believe it. But when I came back he wrote me a strange message saying that he was confused and didn't know what to do. He didn't say what he was confused about but I automatically assumed it was about us. He never said any details and immediately withdrew when I tried comforting him saying it was okay and "when you're ready you can talk to me."In person he told me that I have such an attractive personality. Everyone tells me that but his was different, it was more intimate. I found myself catching some light feelings, nothing strong but I definitely developed an emotional attachment and I'm sure he did too, I wanted to keep seeing him and be around him but he didn't let me. I mean he's the one that came to me and started it. I forget he existed before any of this. I don't feel hurt at all honestly. I think he might be though and I don't want him to feel that way.It's been almost 8 months since we last spoke, until yesterday (that's why I'm writing this post now), when he said he missed me and if I'm free next week. I said "sure. When?" He says "I don't know, I just know that I want to see you." Alejandro is a poet. He's always writing poems and always writes to me in a poetic way. Sometimes he pisses me off with one word messages and we run out of things to talk in person but I told him being in his presence is enough. I know I'm his first. I was oblivious at first, but after explaining it to some of my friends, it really sounds like Alejandro is confused. He's straight and this is never going to work if we went forward with it. He's got to know that.UPDATE: I saw him actually in December at a friend's Christmas party. He had a ninja turtles T-Shirt and his hair was messed up. He looked a mess and I was like, too much time passed and I don't think I'm attracted to him anymore. It was never about the looks, it was his personality and the respect he had for me.I may have the answer to my own question but I wanted to know people's input. Have you been in a similar situation? What happened and how did you handle it?There's so much more (with his ex girlfriend and another ex before). I'm going to see him next week so this is a to be continued. One Up if you liked me story! I'll post what happens next and some more details depending on how many likes I get. I may wrote a novel :p