Is it crazy for a 35 yo to question sexuality?

This seems crazy since I'm not a teen and I've been in multiple Heterosexual relationships. But here I am...Back story: when I was young, I had a bf that was a JO partner until we turned 16ish. I've had fantasies about this guy for years and have had regrets that we didn't explore more.Since then I haven't been with a man, I've been in and out of relationships with women, and have been married to wife for 2 years.since I've been a teenager, I've only been able to master bate and fantasize about gay porn. Mentally, I can't stimulate myself thinking about women. Gay porn is like instant reaction. My sexual reaction to gay sex is about 100x as powerful as with women. Just thinking about sex with a man makes me "precum" like no other. Women have to physically touch me to get here.Periodically, I go on sprees where I stay up late and decide I want to explore. But I always chicken out, especially after i orgasm (by myself). The feeling goes away, and I hide it until a few days later then it pops up again. It's a cycle.I'm clearly sexually attracted to men, I just can't see myself emotionally attracted. I've never had "butterflies" with a guy, only with women.Why am I so weird about this? Shouldn't this be cut and dry?