Could use some support

I don't really like to do this sort of thing, but I guess trying new things is nice, right? So, it's my birthday, go me, right? I'm a 21 year old College Student, Junior Year. I've been out since I was 16, I'm currently trying to establish a double major, I workout regularly, I do Parkour, I'm in a Frat, I know I have friends who care about me, and I'm pretty laidback and sociable.To everyone around me, I'm a "typical" guy. I don't make my sexuality obvious. But, despite all of that, after everything I've done, my Depression gets to me on some days. Just a side note, I refer to my Depression as, "The Sound," because all I hear in my head is static and these terrible whispers during episodes.I've been on meds before, I've gone to therapy and they help for a time. But I've long accepted that this pain is lifelong. I guess I'm making this post because it kinda sucks, you know? Here's a gist of my story.I'm mixed heritage, for starters, I'm many things but I look like, in the words of the campers I counseled this past summer, "someone from Moana." Adorable, I know. :PBut for as long as I can remember, starting in Middle School and ending early High School, I was bullied heavily. It was for stupid, petty things, you know. I got over that.But the kicker was that I was told no one would ever love me. Even now, I think there's a piece of me that still believes that.At 14, when I started my discovery phase, I went on chatrooms. I actually found a video chatroom that actually became like a little family. These people I would vidchat with were regulars, and we'd all sign on at specific times and just hang out. At the same time though, I remember constant rejection based off of how I looked. I didn't know if it was my general 14 year old awkward self, my scrawny body, or my skin tone. It was one of those things, a combination, or all of them. So, I decided to change the things I could. I worked out more to improve my body and tried to be more outgoing as a person.Fast forward.I came out at 16, and I only lost one friend, don't worry, he came back kinda eventually. But the overall support was overwhelming. I also had my first relationship, which was abusive. Just to get it out of the way: My next two relationships were also abusive and my first time was me being sexually assaulted. Had a lot of therapy and mindfulness meditation to sort that out.From 14 to now, 7 years, I've faced constant rejection and heartache. Now, those things aren't the only triggers for The Sound, but they do remind me of what I don't think I deserve.And I know it's stupid to think that way, but seeing all these LGBT peers be happy together, I feel like I'm missing out here. Just last night I had my lesbian friend tell me that she had all her Str8 male and female friends, they are all strangers, agree that they found me to be attractive as I am as a person and in what I do with my life (sports, career goals, etc).I've had my Frat Brothers, and honestly a good chunk of them act like stereotypical frat boys, say how attractive I am, preceded by the hilarious "I'm Straight but..." By that same token, there's a whole debacle with an ambiguous straight friend, I'll probably make a different post about that all together because that's... something...I don't know man, it feels weird that these peers, the familiar and strangers, say or comment on how "desirable" I am, when the guys actually in this community ghost me.I'm sorry, this is starting to feel like an incoherent ramble. I just don't know how to make sense of it. I guess the Depression and Loneliness sucks, you know? I try to use that to continue to better myself, trying to believe that it HAS to lead to something good. But there're times when I find that hard to believe.Any thoughts? Thanks a million.