Alien

Hi, I just wanted to see if others relate. I met this great guy. He just really is so sweet and has so many great attributes. But then fears pop up within me. Like the interest and conversations ended up triggering me and opening a world I didn't know was in my mind.I don't think it's just a gay thing, but I feel I felt alien all my life...like a kind of social abandonment. So I closed off and didn't bother really trying to be human with the other humans. I just assumed I had to be in isolation all my life. So when someone relates to me or expressed concern for me it always hits me like a bunch of bricks....and I either don't believe them or I get emotional about it. And when someone I like, who is human and socially adept returns that like and care it is just the most blissful feeling ever. And with that, fears of being alien come to the surface and can make me irrational at times, that I can't be a part of that world.This fear becomes paralyzing and obsessive and I lose all mental function.