I feel like no one will ever love me

I don't even know where to start, so I'll just type what I have in my mind. Before you keep reading, I just want to say, thank you if you read through the whole thing as I wouldn't even waste my time reading this imo. Anyway, off I go:I am an 18 male who graduated from high school about 4 months ago. I guess I can say I'm still closeted but only through my family. As a filipno, I grew up in a social construct where liking the same gender is a bad thing. I ended up having my first relationship (which was with my first guy also) in my sophomore year. We dated for 7 months and that whole 7 months was hell. It was humiliation of people seeing me cry and emotional as I was a pretty happy/cheerful guy and them seeing a complete opposite was a pretty saddening thing. That guy cheated on me with 5 different guys the whole 7 months and I was a fool for staying with him that whole time. My second date was with a guy I met in sophomore year before I started dating the guy who cheated on me 5 times. This new guy (he's not new as I have met him before, but I hope you understand what I mean) had admitted he has sociopathic tendencies which I understood and foolishly understood the risks I was taking. that was pretty challenging enough and the fact that he hid the information where he still had feelings for his ex and that he still talked to her hit me like PTSD. Now, I'm all alone and jealous because he is saying he's happy when he clearly never wanted me because he never feels romantic feelings but only sexual feelings. Basically, I'm too loving and too stupid. No one will ever love me because they will get tired of me. I don't want just sexual activities as they aren't really what I yearn for too much. I want those romantic feeling where I get to play video games with them and hold their hands or cuddle with them at night or share food with them. I'm sorry if this post was pretty confusing as I just wrote things at the top of my head and I'm usually a confusing person in general. As desperate I am, I just want to be loved, haha xD