Ending an F-Bud sitation

Last week I ended and on going F bud situation. Well, I left the door open technically, but I pretty much ended it. He was the hottest guy I've ever been with, and the longest F buddy I've had. I'm amazed that we hooked up for two years. We never exchanged numbers and only contacted each other through grindr. Increasingly I found that when he would be on line and not respond to me, or not message me , it would drive me crazy. ( I only tried to message him every couple of weeks or so) Id get sick to my stomach and/ or not be able to sleep. In some ways this is selfish because we weren't serious and I didn't see him as relationship material. But I couldn't help how I felt. So I was honest after him not responding to me on Grindr, I said "I'm not sure If I can see you any more" He asked if I was moving and I said "No, just seems like you've been leaving me hanging a lot lately and you're looking for other people. that's fine , but I don't like how it feels". I guess I broke F-Buddy rule Number 1 right there. He said nothing, then I added that I'm not angry, I just don't want to put my self in a situation that isn't right for me.Backing up a little bit, about a year ago I went through a similar thing with him and asked him if he was over it. He said he's always up to see me and hopes I feel the same way.Then one time when he was on vacation, I said "hit me up when you get back". He never responded and then went off line for a month. I was sure that he had met someone else. I got upset and deleted my account. Turns out he was traveling in Asia and he looked me up when he got back and messaged me and came over. He asked what happened to my account. He even seemed a little frustrated. I wasn't honest though, I just said "I got a new phone". But seriously, when he was on vacation, how hard would it have been to say "I'm going to be gone for a month". or say anything at all for that matter?This time I was honest about how I felt and I didn't get any response from him, so I guess I'll never know what he's thinking. Maybe he was loosing interest in me. Maybe I scared him off.I didn't want a relationship with him, so somehow he didn't measure up for me. I have no idea if that was hurtful to him or not, so maybe for that reason its good that I ended it. I'm not using him any more. I still feel sad about it and Ive been feeling lonely. Part of me is thinking "WTF did you do??? " But I just don't think I could have kept it going. I don't think I'm wired that way.The good thing is that I'm not looking for another F buddy to replace him with. That just doesn't feel right. I want something more meaningful.