Feel depressed because i'm in the closet in my 30ies

Hi everyone,I just wanted to share a bit of my feelings.I am a guy in his thirties. My family is kind of religious, and I was raised in a religious environment.I've been struggling for years to come out to my loved ones, but i am just affraid of reaction. A few of my friends know that i am gay, and most of the ones who know are gay themselves.When i was in my 20ies i didn't car much, because all my friend were not married, and society didn't expect me to be married yet. Now all the people around my age that i know are married with kids and with a reason to get out of their bed every morning.This whole situation consumes me little by little. And i feel that i cannot achieve anything in life as long as i don't get out of this situation. but i also feel that it is too late anyway.And now i'm writing this message, thinking about how lonely i am, how it is difficult for me to build a relationship and how depressing this whole situation is. Sometime i even think i am cursed.Also, i feel so useless because i am doing nothing to help change society, or at least help change things within my community.Thanks for reading this message, and be happy.