2017. december 25., hétfő

Contacted a guy I like on twitter (1st time doing so) - No answer - still can't stop thinking about him (Depression; anxiety)

So I'm not really sure what to do right now:A few weeks ago (13 December ) I contacted a guy on twitter. My reason for that was, that twitter recommended me to follow him and after seeing his profile pic I already found him very cute/attractive. After going through some of his tweets I noticed that we had basically the same interests and we both followed the same kind of people.So I contact him, right? - Well, it wasn't that easy for me.I'm introverted and suffer from anxiety and depression so it was really difficult for me to find the right words. (And because i had never contacted anyone else on twitter before, or just in general really; hell I even wrote to my friends because I was so nervous XD.) So before my friends answered I had already come up with something to write him and tweeted it. My friends were very supportive and encouraging. They thought it was really great that I had the courage to do it.I didn't sleep at all that night and the following days because I just kept thinking about him. Even on 15 December, which was my 20th birthday, I often checked twitter just to see if he had replied. I started to get more anxious (self-doubts; what i had done wrong; if i should write more or not) and when I was able to sleep I just had the worst nightmares with him turning me down and people laughing at me. As a result, I contacted him again on the night from the 17th to the 18th since I couldn't sleep (again) and basically wrote why I contacted him exactly. (because of the people we both followed and our hobbies) I also had an important exam on the 18th and needed that sleep desperately - and it kind of helped actually. I still didn't get a reply though.Over the course of the last few days I continued to hope to get a reply from him, but it just seems so unlikely now. The problem I have now is that I really would like to get to know him better or at least would like to know why he isn't replying and I'm really not sure if I would just make it worse by contacting him again. It's driving me nuts, I just wish he would at least say no or anything at all so that I can get some sort of closure. And I'm also confused because I have never felt such strong feelings for anyone at all and everything is just so mixed up.

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