2 Part Question : Coming Out and Healthy Relationships

So I am a 23 y/o queer male. (Although sometimes I identify as gay or bisexual which I feel better fits my mood although most of the time it is gay.) I've had two relationships with females back in HS and have had 2 relationships with males while in college. I've been single for about a year and a half now and have gone on dates here and there with nothing becoming relationship-worthy. I feel that I am ready for my next relationship but it doesn't seem to be coming, the last guy I dated was too young and mature for me. The guy previous to him dumped me and left me with heartbreak. I am not confident in my gaydar and have difficulty approaching guys in public. (Possibly issues within myself that need to be resolved.) But when I finally do get myself on a date from either an LGBT group or online, I haven't had much success. Is it possible that I might be doing something to deter guys away? I'm not trying to let me ego get in the way but I've been told by friends and strangers that I am an attractive person.. So it kind of leaves me wondering if I am doing something majorly wrong, do many gay guys just go disappearing after a couple dates, or is there a secret formula to win a guy over so he is interest and doesn't disappear/leave. Can not being completely out to family have any impact?TL;DR 1) What makes a healthy gay relationship? 2) Is being out completely necessary for a healthy relationship?