Being gay is hard!

Foreword: I knew it would be difficult. It took me a while to accept being gay and honestly it's been great, save for a few things. I'm not sure what I am looking for in this post, I just feel like I need to lay everything out.I'm 17 years old, a junior in high school and a good student. My future looks bright, I have a 3.8 gpa and got a near perfect score on Sat math. My friends are all amazing people and have been more supportive to me and shown more love than anyone ever has, but they can't sympathize with my problems because, yknow, they're not gay. I am very happy with myself, and I'm fortunate to be able to channel my anger and sadness into better emotions.Recently I came out to my mother. Her immediate response was putting me in Christian counseling. I'm not sure what the point was, she paid some guy hundreds of dollars over the next few months to tell me God doesn't love gay people. Doesn't matter, I'm not religious anyways. She is keeping my sexuality a secret, treating it as an illness. She doesn't want me to date anyone, she doesn't want me to talk about other men, she doesn't want me to come out to anyone. I'm more than sure I'm gay lol, no clue what any of her rules will change.anyways, I totally ignore the fuck outta her. I regularly hook up with a really nice guy (20 years old, legal in my state) who is very supportive, fun to hang out with, and sees me as more than just my penis. I'm pretty much openly gay in school and almost nobody makes fun of me for it. Being insecure about something always invites unwanted attention. The problem, however, is that I am soul-crushingly lonely.My brother came back from college with his girlfriend for Christmas and my parents love her. She's a respectful young woman, I like her. Knowing that I will never be able to bring someone back to my parents and be truly supported feels real shitty. I know that my parents will never be comfortable with my sexuality even if they feign smiles and kind words. I'm ashamed to be in my own home.I have tried a few ways of meeting guys, none have worked out. The gsa at my school is just a bunch of girls with dyed hair, and one bi dude who isn't intelligent or really my type. I used Grindr once or twice to try to find hookups but that shit was fuckin weird. Im done looking for random hookups, I just want someone to love.There are not many people in my school that are my type. The one guy I'm really into is unapprochable, as in very socially inept. Not even sure what his sexuality is. We have similar interest and are planning to go to the same college out of coincidence, but I have a feeling that even if he is gay it would never work out.I don't know, the whole family situation is isolating to say the least. I don't feel like I belong anywhere anymore. I'm hoping the future holds somewhere I can get some rest. Anyways, if you read through this, thanks for taking the time. I'm sure it will get better for me and for people going through the same. feel free to share how your life is going, it would be great to be reassured that I'm not alone in this