newly come out as gay

Hello my name is joe and I’m 20 years old and I’m from PA and I recently came out of the closet to some of my closest friends and honestly it’s been hard because I keep finding the constant battle of being gay or straight in my life I feel like I say I’m gay but I act straight and honestly based on the feelings I have I am gay and I’m proud of it but I see all these guys that are gay and skinny and there’s me the fat gay guy that no one likes and it really upsets me