So... What Do I Do (Dating)?

I'll try to keep this as short as possible!I'm 18, he's a year and a half olderI've never dated because I have absurdly specific criteria when even considering someoneBasically, we met online about four years ago on some chat and immediately became friends. He knew I was gay and vice versa, so there's always been a lingering attraction between us. We've been talking on and off over the years; not because of fights, just because life happens and we stop talking. Early last year, he started talking to me again, but during the summer, he took a much more romantic approach. I normally don't go for this because I had never been too interested in relationships previously, but something clicked and we were super into each other.This went on for a few months, but his ex came back into the picture and sort of ruined things between us in a sense. (SIDE NOTE: We were talking online and the relationship with his ex was long-term and ended on his ex's terms, so I don't think he was scummy by investing more in this guy.) However, my feelings didn't go away at all. After things didn't work out between them, he established that distance is a huge factor and he could never be in a long-distance relationship, so that was that.Either way, we kept talking and became pretty close to best friends. He dated a couple of other people from that time until now (which killed me), but my feelings still won't go away, no matter what I tell myself. I've tried cutting him off, but he miserably came back to me and said he needs me as a part of his life. We've been talking every day since then, so I don't know. He will randomly flirt with me, which is confusing, but I know he's not leading me on or anything. We find each other extremely attractive, but distance is a huge dealbreaker. Also, we have a meetup planned for way later this summer (August or so).tl;dr -I like him, but distance is a huge factorI can't stop talking to him because he's my best friend and still somehow always finds a way back into my lifeNo matter what I try, I can't kill my feelingsWe're planning on meeting up this summer; it could fall through, but it's a planSorry for the super long post, but what do I do? I have no experience with this and I'm not out so I'm uncomfortable with asking friends for help.Thank you for your time!