am i gay

The account posting this is not my main Reddit account.So I am fairly sure I am gay. I have never gotten a hard-on from anything but thoughts about males, and I have never felt any kind of romantic attraction to the female gender. Of course, I can appreciate if a woman is smart/attractive/possessing other good qualities, but I am not sexually attracted to them. My question is: does this qualify me as "gay"? I want to be absolutely sure before I "come out" to my friends & family.If I am indeed gay, I would like to know: what struggles do most gay people face? I live in a fairly liberal place, so I don't usually encounter anti-LGBT sentiments, but do ordinary people (as in non-prejudiced people) sometimes accidentally create challenges for you?Essentially, all I am looking for is guidance and help in this nebulous place. I would really appreciate some real answers, as this is (obviously) a significant part of one's identity; I don't really feel comfortable discussing it with family until I'm sure either way.