Is my brain messing with me?

So, I for the past two years I've been attracted to guys only. I'm starting to think of myself as gay. The annoying part is that I have thought of myself as special is other ways, to be different. I feel gay, but I'm afraid I'm not actually gay. So I don't want to come out to anyone because I'm scared of unintentionally lying to myself and the people around me.Sorry if it's a messy post, it's pretty late here.