Feel like I'm in the eye of a storm

I barely have time to type this because I'm at work but long story short, I'm kinda of deflated and a bit depressed. In middle and early high school I kept crushing on straight guys but after sophomore year I cut myself off from liking anybody. That was like 2013. Now I should be a sophomore in college (I couldn't go back this year) and I feel like last year was when I really started crushing on guys again but I've come to realize that it's not even really the guy, it's just that I want love. And I feel like I'm starving for it. I feel so alone because all of my friends are at school and I only have contact with people at work. Frankly, I've started doing some things that kind of scare me, especially since I haven't worked out an issue of being coerced into sexual things without my consent when I was drunk. I'm in such a rut and today I feel like I may finally see a happy ending to this but it's going to take work. Anyone else ever feel the same? How did you get through this... the loneliness is blinding.