My life is out of control plummeting with me watching...

So i'e posts on how I hate being gay. Having no friend atc... So begging of Mach I lost R15 000 on my saving, stollen just like that , never told anyone, just been drinking in my room alone all along. I lost so much I only was left with 400, which I have spent all on alcohol. My life is sadly spiraling out of control, yet everyone seeing me on campus thinks I'm fine. From February I've only had conversation in class or my brother on the phone. No one else. I go to class, com back to my room sleep or drink on my own.