I've had a bad couple days

It's been a year since I came out. Yay.I never expected all this.I've dated some guys... I've fallen in love. Twice.That second time feels more hollow right now, just because I'm realizing now how over it really is. I wish it wasn't, but I get why it is. I've never realized how sad I could be because of one other person. Alternatively... I hadn't realized how happy I could be because of one other person.Getting used to the idea that I was gay and just being open about it was the best thing I've ever done for my mind.And being able to date guys was incredible and also really weird to do at 20 years old. I had avoided relationships hardcore leading up to me coming out and I wish I hadn't because I feel like being a teenager would have been so much more fun if I was open earlier.I don't really like thinking about relationships, but maybe that's just because I've not had one really last long yet where the other person loves me the way I love them...I'm just sad right now realizing the person that I loved didn't really love me like I thought.