When can i say "we are dating"?

Im 30 and i just came out as gay. After few hookups, i decided to try dating. I've been seeing this guy for over a month around twice a week. I do like him quite a lot. However i want to be with him more often, but he is really busy all the time. Also it is usually me who initiates the dates, as he told me he wants to leave it up to me. That is because he wants us to take things slowly and to my liking/tempo considering i'm new to this and can get overwhelmed. He also is afraid i might get overly attached to him considering he is my first. I fully agree with this and respect him for being so wise. To further complicate the issue, he is leaving in few months to another state and i might leave to another country in 2017. However, i just want to be more often with him for longer times. And i want to him to initiate some dating plans as well, as that will prove he is still interested and not just feeling bad for me. Every time we meet it is usually 3-4 hours, and i just would love to spend a whole day or weekend with him, to really try to connect. The current dates are just brief passing by moments, which often have me confused as to what this is. I have no idea if this is "normal" or something that i should expect. I have absolutely nothing to compare my situation to. Help would be appreciated.