My mother caught me during sex, and it affected my life

Hi, first of all, I'd like to apologize if my English is not good enough to describe what happened, but I'll try my best.I'm 34 years old Chinese descent living in Indonesia. I realize I'm gay since I'm in junior high, and stayed in the closet all the time, mainly due to my family strong traditional value and situation of my country. Being in the closet is not really hard for me, since I'm straight-act, mostly a loner (a nerd to be precise), tough there are some frustating times when I need a person to be with.Mid last year, my mother caught me red handed while having sex. She walked into the room while I'm doing oral sex to my partner, which resulting a very awkward moment while my partner left my place, and few hours argument with her.While she's kind enough not to tell my father (he will absolutely kill me), I've been getting a really snide remarks here and there from her whenever she got upset about something even tough it's unrelated to me. She's also becoming more frontal on trying to fix a marriage to me.This morning, out of nowhere, she put another snide remarks which is extremely hurtful to me. She said basically I'm crazy to have sex with men and not even considering female at all.Don't get me wrong, I've tried doing intercourse with female, but I can't get erection no matter how I tried (beside watching gay porn while doing it or drugs). I don't want to marry and make the other person suffer because of my lack of interest. I love kids, I have fun raising my nephew and niece, so kids part is not exactly the biggest issue here. I was perfectly comfortable with my lifestyle, and doing quite steady in my business too. But since she started throwing snide remarks on me, I fell into a lot of stress, making my relationship with my boyfriend strained in the process (less sex), and huge effect in my business too. At some points, I've been weighing worse options to get away from it.I think, what I wanted to ask is some advice to make the situation bearable (so it won't affect my business as worse as now, I'm almost bankrupt out of worry) or how to solve it. I realize my mother view of homosexual won't change at all given the strict traditional value my family held.Thank you in advance