I keep falling into the same trend and I would like some advice

I've always known that I am attracted to men. I've been dating guys for about a year and a half now and have had about 5 sexual partners. Every time it becomes the same deal and I can't figure out whats wrong.When I'm with a guy I end up getting turned off by nearly everything. Overly kissing turns me off, cuddling turns me off, basically anything that is romantic is a put off. The only thing I can do is have sex with a guy and after I feel kinda gross. I always hope it's different with the next guy but it hasn't been.Here's the worst part, the guys that I am really attracted to are straight. It's been a pattern of mine to befriend a guy, become really close to them and eventually have strong feelings for them.What's wrong with me? Why is it that I can have these strong feelings for guys that are straight but guys that are gay I get put off by. It absolutely makes no sense and has even made me question my sexuality at times.Any advice or comments would be helpful, thank you for your time.