If im going to hell then

Why the fuck do i keep crying because my best friend found out that im gay and im scared what he might think?Why do i even have feelings? Why do i cry cause my friends act differently around me now then before? If im going to hell cause i have different feelings then why shouldnt i do the most fked up shit ever without even blinking an eye? if someone of the homophobic club can give me an honest answer why i keep being nice then please speak