I don't wanna taco bout it

Obvious throw away is obvious, I'll try to be short (that won't happen) since I don't see looking back on this. Just wanted to share a story and give myself a little sanity.Queue roughly a year ago, met an awesome person we will call Taco. Taco told me he was straight, I found out later after a bit of beer and a lot of patience that Taco is gay. We were cuddling one night (after like two or three nights in a row) and he held my hand. Asked if he was awake and he said yea. He was in the closet still. We had a long conversation about what was going through our mind. We decided that a relationship wasn't the best idea because we're both in school and have bigger things to focus on. We settled on cuddle buddies.Queue a week later, I'm going crazy about the kid (crushing hard in class) and we eventually start going out. It was probably the best thing that's ever happened to me. I learned through the relationship that I wasn't bi and that I had never felt true love for a woman like I had for this guy. Only problem was I am super outgoing and he is super introverted. I couldn't stand peeling away from him whenever we heard someone even get near the door, so I had him at minimum come out to my roommates. This start a very bad chain where I was coming out for him, just because I wanted to share the joy that we had.About 6 month in the honeymoon phase was over. It was no longer 'this person is perfect', but it was still 'this person is worth every part of the good and bad' and there were no questions about it. He didn't seem to feel the same way. We moved in together with 3 other people (8 months into relationship, and all roommates knew we were going out) and then a month into a year lease he broke up with me. I honestly think what it comes down to is timing. The main reason for the breakup was because he 'wasn't ready for a relationship'. He doesn't exactly have an accepting family left (dads a bit homophobic and mom is no longer here).I was crushed an insane amount. Depressed since it was my first real heartbreak. I had to learn to hate him in order to live with him. Everything he did had to make me feel angry or I could not justify seeing him. Every time I saw him walk down the hall it was like breaking up all over again. I relived hell every day for 2 months before I got over him. Eventually I realized I was just forcing myself to be upset when I didn't need to be.The problem I'm at now is different. We are friends again, actual friends. We actually enjoy each others company and we're not just ACTING civil like we were before. I no longer emotionally hurt because of what happened between us. I realized all the reason I found to hate him were just silly. After dating a few other guys I realized my expectations for a relationship (which caused friction with Taco) were a bit extreme. One of the expectations was a 'no secrets' thing. Secrets meaning literally EVERYTHING should be communicated.So now I have this whole perspective shift that has happened (and is still happening) and I'm starting to develop the feels again. I'm honestly fine waiting until he is ready. The only thing that goes through my mind is "What if that was just an excuse?". I know he actually wasn't ready, and I've never seen him interact with any other guys at all. The question that kills me is 'Should I wait?'I'm perfectly fine taking this time to better myself as a person and I don't see the need to really LOOK for a relationship. The only reason this festered again is because I had an anxiety attack today over school/Taco/family/stressors and I really needed someone to be there and was hoping it was him. I ended up wrapping myself in a blanket burrito and slept for a couple hours. Forgot I had the attack until just now. I have only had one other attack in my life like this.This is probably WAY too much detail, but live life and do what you do right?But still, should I be waiting for a person if I care this much about them? When is it not okay?