I need help

Guys I dont know if this is the right place for it but im thinking it is. Anyways, im married and have 3 kids but I have always known that i am attracted to men. I watch gay porn more than straight porn and im scared my wife will catch me one night. I just really feel stuck I dont think I can ever let her know what my heart really desires. I mean we have 3 beautiful kids I cant do this to them either.