Struggling to be honest with myself.

So I'm a 28 year old guy who has been in the closet all of his life. I'm sexually attracted to men and women pretty equally, but only emotionally and romantically attracted to men if that makes any sense. Because of family and the area I live in, however, I have been trying to find a woman for the last few years to have a "normal" life with, i.e. kids, house, picket fence that sort of thing. Burying my real self to keep others happy.It's still kinda dangerous to be out where I live, so I've kept it hidden. I've told a couple of friends in the past who have all moved away, my sister knows (and is also in the closet so is supportive and understanding), and I came out to my mom years ago but she seems to have forgotten and always asks if I'm dating any new girls. I just don't bring it up anymore because I fear she won't be supportive or will be upset.However, I've gotten to the point where I just want to be myself but I don't know what to do next. I used to talk to women but it felt empty and hollow, because I knew I wasn't being honest with myself or her, and it wasn't what I really wanted. I've just been going to work (I have a great job, but because of the nature of my job I would very likely get fired if I was ever outed) coming home, and not talking to anyone. I've just felt like I'm in a funk and kinda lost.I'm really just looking for advice from anyone who's ever been in a similar situation. I'm not used to talking to anyone about this part of my life so if I let out any relevant details or broke reddiquette for this post feel free to let me know. Thanks.