2015. december 30., szerda

I made the classic mistake of reconnecting with my ex.

Broke apart because of the distance; he got a boyfriend. This scarred me emotionally and took a couple months to heal. Fast forward 5 months I text him "hey" (wtf was I thinking? I probably wasn't thinking at all). Long story short he misses 'us' and says his relationship is complicated. So I think; "yay maybe I have a chance again". Nope. Just 24 hours into talking again all the reasons why I got pissed at him hit me like a truck. He never keeps promises. We agreed to FaceTime several times, when I remind him about it he says he's going out or is doing something else. He purposely avoids my messages when I can clearly see he's posting shit all over Facebook and Instagram. But when he does reply it's all flirty and cute. What kind of person goes ahead and makes plans with someone else when you already agreed to do something with them? What annoys me most is that FaceTime was his suggestion. Why is he avoiding it now? He has avoided plans at least 20+ while together. Always "busy".So you ask, "OP, why don't you confront him about it?" FUCKING USELESS. I did. I told him that if we wanted to avoid all our nasty arguments we had long time ago, we should have nothing between us but clear communication and honesty. His response: "of course, sure. :)" which is very vague of him. At a different time I asked him how he felt about us talking again and us in general. He said: "I definitely miss talking again. But you know I have a boyfriend now so it definitely complicates things although it is nice to just talk friendly again."I feel like screaming internally. I can't stay mad at him. I don't think he even knows what he's doing is hurting me. I want to avoid talking to him again but I can't go a day without texting him. He never starts conversation first, I always do.I really do like him. I know he has some feelings for me too but idk if I can handle this stress anymore. I have exams soon ;-;Sorry if this is unstructured and all over the place, a rant I guess.

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