First time, of sorts

I'm in my early twenties. I'm not 'out' to many people, and in a way I don't consider it a very important part of my identity. I'd never had a gay experience until last night. For the past month or so I've been toying with the idea of exploring my sexuality, and for around a week I've been on Grindr.Last night, I got a message from a man a little over twice my age asking if I wanted to meet up 'right now'. I was rather drunk, and so I thought, why not? I don't know what it says about me that I've mostly been chatting to much older men on Grindr—maybe I like them, maybe not; perhaps my crushingly low self-esteem tells me that nobody my age could ever tolerate or love me. Could be that I'm trying to sell my only asset, my youth, to the people I know will treasure it most highly. Whatever.So he comes over and drives me out to a quiet location. We climb into the back of his car and strip bare. At this point, I wasn't nervous, or excited, or apprehensive. I felt nothing. He pulls me in and starts forcing his tongue into my mouth and asking me dirty questions. I'm not that receptive to the kissing, but I let him do it. I drop to his lap and start sucking him off, which I would describe as exactly like how I imagined it. He does the same to me, and fingers me at the same time. His finger was bone-dry, though, and it was hurting me. I didn't want the skin to rip open like wet tissue paper, so I stopped him. He then stuck the finger into my mouth without warning.He said that he "couldn't get hard" without Frenching, which was why he persisted with it far beyond my expectation. Anyway, he eventually says that it wasn't happening for him, so he drives me home. For the rest of the evening I sit in my bedroom wondering why the encounter hasn't left the slightest impression on me, and thinking that there's something seriously wrong with me.Is this a typical experience? Did I mess up? Am I crazy? Is everyone like this? And, not that it actually matters, would you still consider me a virgin?