Anyone have an explanation for how I feel?

Hey all, just wanted some advice on how I could properly explain my actions and thoughts. I was sexually abused by a family friend at a very young age (I'm a dude) and was always very effeminate growing up, playing with dolls, etc. At age 14 I started having sexual thoughts about guys but was also interested in girls. I hooked up with girls here and there but have never had sex with them. I am VERY sexually interested in men to the point where I'm extremely hypersexual and need to start controlling my porn habits. I can't see myself ever dating or getting married to a guy but I really do want to marry a girl and have kids and a typical family. Although I get turned on by girls too, I don't find them sexually attractive as much as guys, and I'm extremely scared because I prefer to watch aggressive, forceful dominant scenes that resemble rape but aren't really. I am thinking of seeing a therapist who might be able to help me make sense of things, but was wondering if anyone is in similar shoes or might be able to make sense of my situation? Thanks in advance.