How do I change gay mannerisms? I'm tired to feel less than a man.

I am a man. I love being a man. I dress like a man. Unfortunately I spent most of my childhood around girls so I have some mannerisms reason why I was bullied so badly at school.I've always felt less than other men. When I like somenone I usually feel bad and angry at myself because I can't be like them. I want to be like those straight men who you can feel their manliness getting out of their skin. Natural.I don't think it's self pity because this is not helping me to have the life that I want. Because nowadays people still make fun on me and and on top of that I am also black so you don't have idea how horrible that combination is.I came to Reddit cause I don't know where else to find a good advice. I've spent all day trying to find a guide to be more masculine but all people say is "accept and love yourself just as you are". But sometimes it does not work like that. I'm just tired and afraid cause lately I've been thinking about making a drastic decision if you know what I mean.No offense. I just want to be the way that is more convenient to me. It's not self hate wanting to change a nocive behaviour.Thanks for reading.