Gay/str8 relationship? help me understand.

For 4 yrs I’ve been very close to a str8 guy. He’s 25, I’m 41. We don’t interact like “friends” I kiss his neck, cheek, forehead, rub his back, touch his thighs, touch his butt. Most times he is open/receptive, then other times he jerks away. We go on weekend trips together, and vacations. We sometimes share the same bed, I give him massages. I help him out around his house, cook for him and I am the first person he calls when anything happens in life. We seem to connect on a whole other level, both admittedly. We talk of the future as “we” and “us” and talk about moving out of state together. He has admitted deep feelings for me and said more than once that he was open sexually, but then at other times he contradicts that, saying he’s not gay. People usually think we are a couple when we are out together. I’m just confused because I know I love him. On Valentine’s Day he said he was not celebrating this “stupid day” I had a little gift for him, expecting nothing in return. He said he didn’t want to celebrate it. I went ahead and took his gift over, he thanked me, we had a nice hug and I left. I was not upset at all. Saturday rolls around, I go to pick him up for a weekend getaway. He seems kinda down. He proceeds to tell me that he spent all night depressed and listening to music on Valentine’s Day, after I left because he felt that he treated me bad, and felt guilty. He then says we could’ve went out to celebrate on Valentine’s. I don’t understand. Does anyone have any thoughts on this situation? He says he’s never been w a guy, and has been in relationships with girls since I’ve known him.

I need help on starting conversations with a guy I haven't talked to in 3 years that I have feelings for.

So this guy in the last 3 years has somehow become one of the 'popular kids' in High School. And he's never left alone, he's always with some jackass. How do I approach or text him? Considering I haven't talked to him in 3 years.

Getting the HIV morning after pill in Denver?

Last night I hooked up with a guy, and gave him oral only, and it all happened kind of fast. In the vigor, I cut the inside of my lip on my teeth. Then, as we slowed down a bit, I found a bump on the bottom of his dick. I should have checked first, but it all happened really fast :/This set me off worrying about STIs, and I'm wondering where I can get a morning after pill for HIV. I'm also going to get tested, but as I understand it can take a bit for it to show up on a panel. Where can I get tested in Denver as well?Edit: I swished my mouth out with tequila and spit it out because I didn't have mouthwash.

I don't get this at all it's confusing ...advice please

It was hard enough falling for someone and not letting my own insecurities get in the way because I profoundly cared for this person in a way I just haven't experienced before , I am working through that whirlwind patiently and with a sense of perspective and I thought it was all going to be ok but man was I wrong !!!The last few days have been a whirlwind of hot and cold messages which led me to take a step back only for him to message me to make plans which I said yes to.Subsequently I initate to ask about his day and I'll get nothing for days or he will text but then suddenly leave me hanging. It's a few hrs before we were supposed to meet up and I have no confirmation ....nothing !!!It's bad enough trying to protect myself but then opening up to someone and feeling vulnerable , but then to have to deal with this sudden hot and cold behaviour ....it hurts and now I'm just confused ?What the hell is going on ....why is he behaving so differently and how do I navigate this ?

All I want.......

Is to find someone who I can experience life with. Someone I can talk to until 430 in the morning. Someone I can absolutely trust. Someone who is beautiful on the inside as well as the outside. Someone who’ll make an effort to try not to lie to me. Someone who wants to travel with me. Someone who won’t take advantage of me. Someone who won’t use. I just want someone to love.

30 Years Old - Need Help Coming Out

I feel a bit like my entire life up until now has been somewhat wasted. I have not been able to live my own life out of the closet and until about a year ago, I was still in denial about my sexuality. Compounded with the fact that I have a conservative family and was raised in part by a fire and brimstone, bible-thumping step-mother, I feared my own salvation given my innate sexuality. Thankfully, I am now free of that nonsense and am comfortable with my spirituality (rather the lack of spirituality as I am now an atheist). However, I am feeling that it is time for me to face the barrier of coming out.For complete disclosure, my best friend and I are both male and he is unaware of my sexuality. I have encouraged him to pursue healthy girlfriends and am a little vocal about when I think he might need to assess love interests that don't treat him well. In many ways he is like my little brother (he is a few years younger), and I truly want him to be happy. The only caveat is that I have a romantic attraction to him, a phenomenon not exclusive to my gay experience, I know. However, I am pretty certain he is mostly straight, though sometimes he huddles up next to me or puts his head on my shoulder, which I interpret as a blood-brother type bond more than anything. I plan to come out to him when I next see him and I have set aside a whole day for us to hang out privately to do so. However, I am mixed on what to do with telling him my feelings. We already acknowledge that we love and care about one another, almost all of our conversations end with "love you" or other things family members would typically say. However, I feel like I should tell him that I am a little more romantically attracted to him as I share a deep emotional bond with him.While it would be nice for him to secretly feel the same way, I doubt that will be the case. But still, I feel that I will never quite have the closure I need to move on and actually come out fully unless I am absolutely honest with him. It is a little selfish since I can already assume he cannot ever be attracted to me in a romantic sense, but I don't want to make things awkward by continuing this deep romantic attraction.How should I handle this situation?

How do I tell my date that I don't want to date him anymore?

So I have had 2 dates so far with this guy, one at a restaurant and one at a park. The 2nd date was really romantic, we watched the sunset together whie hugging and kissing, so it was really nice. We are going on a 3rd date tomorrow, however I realized that I don't want a relationship with him.I don't want it because there are a few things which bother me about him, for example we don't really have good conversations, because education/family background differences and I don't even enjoy texting with him. Furthermore his whole personality is about being gay - not like he is flamboyant or anything, but his instagram page for example is full of posts about being gay. I feel like he is really insecure and already too attached to me. I want to see how our next date goes, but I'm pretty sure I will have to tell him that I don't want a next date, since I don't love him.So what's the best way to tell him I don't want to date anymore to not hurt him too much? He is so cute and nice, I really don't want to hurt him, but I can't imagine being with him in a relationship.