Feeling guilty about it.

Hello, I'm 21and still in closet. Sometimes I feel that this is not what I'm supposed to be and feel guilty about it. Maybe it's because I'm an "intolerant gay"? When I was younger I always thought that being gay is bad because my family said that (they never said that but gave the "hint" even when I disagreed with that nowadays). But I feel held down. Maybe I will never come out for my family.