I kinda hate being gay

I really do hate being gay. I accept that’s what I am and I cannot change it, but nevertheless I don’t like it. I can’t have my own, natural children (of which I would want a lot). I’m expected to conform to this mold of what a gay man is (liberal, flamboyant, finely groomed). I hate that everything in the “gay world” is based around sex. I hate the idea of anonymous sex or even sex outside of a long-term relationship. It just feels like most gay men are sluts.And crucially, my dating pool is extremely small. I know about four gay guys, none of which I would want to date. Now granted, I am young and live in a small-medium sized town, but I feel like I should have had at least one boyfriend by my age (18). I feel like I’m missing out on a crucial part of being a teenager, learning how to handle a relationship.Also, I really hate talking about gay things. For instance if a friend asks what kind of guys I like or something like that, I always get really timid and quiet. It just feels inappropriate I guess. Like a guy shouldn’t be talking that way about other guys.Well anyway that was my rant. Sorry if it was a bit incoherent.